she's got glasses on...

Cukicorn and a large harvest!

2010-10-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

Zucchini bread! From home grown zucchinis!

2010-09-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

Thems the rules

2010-09-27T21:27:00.001-07:00

Danny's rules of baking #1: if the recipe calls for cinnamon, always add way more than it calls for, if the recipe doesn't call for cinnamon, it will definitely taste better with cinnamon... and a dash of nutmeg for good measure.

Valley of the hearts delight.

2010-09-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

Free stuff

2010-09-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

Yet another garden post!

2010-08-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

In bloom

2010-08-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Harvesting! Who knew cucumbers grew so fast?

2010-07-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

July is ice cream month!

2010-07-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Results.

2010-07-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

Magic beans!

2010-07-06T10:08:00.001-07:00

This old house

2010-07-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

4th of July

2010-07-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Tomatoes!

2010-07-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

Weekender

2010-06-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

I made a new sign for my garden to scare the neighbor children.

pillowfights music video shoot! A lot of kids showed up and even a random stranger walked by and joined in the fun. She was in town from Boston, looking for something to do.

my very first little tomatoes! How terribly exciting!

I had to say farewell to Matt yesterday so he can travel the country with his rock and roll band! I am so excited for him, but 6 whole weeks without a kiss sounds so terrible!

Paul Baribeau & Big eyes played in my friends basement, it was really fun! I also went on the slip and slide in their backyard, shoes and all. I was feeling quite better afterwards but didn't realize my shoes would take so long to dry!

stop and smell the roses.

2010-06-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

I think I forgot to mention just how wonderful my weekend was. I spent Friday night and most of Saturday crafting with Matt, he made a stencil and a lot of buttons, and I made a bunch of stamps! It was really nice to just relax and make stuff since it was our last weekend of peace before he leaves on tour for a month and a half. Did I mention I will miss him?

On Sunday he had a final for one of his dorky computer science classes, and we woke up at 7am to make sure we would make it on time. Everything is hilarious at 7am. I drove Matt to school and since its kind of out of the way, puttered around Hayward a bit until he was done. I tried to take a nap, went to a coffee shop and got a bagel with peanut butter, and some ginger spiced chai. YUM. Then I layed in the grass on campus and made daisy chains and talked to bees until Matt discovered me and declared that I was adorable and he was glad he stuck around till summer.

Apparently the sunshine, and flowers and bees make me do downright adorable things.

We left campus in search of sustenance in the form of in n out burger. We acquired.

I drank pink lemonade to my hearts content already full of bagel and peanut butter. Matt makes weird faces when he chews. We were headed to San Francisco for a BBQ at 1pm and made a stop off at 924 gilman to drop off some of the buttons I had made to raise funds!

If you would also like to design a button please send them my way and I will make them and drop them off! Some MMA kids came to the club early so I let them in, and stuck around while they set up their mats and junk on the ground to do kicking and punching on. COOL!

Matt and I headed to SF and got there just in time, we found a nice spot in the shade and after much maneuvering I managed to parallel park in said spot. We walked to the FUTURE (Avi's new house) and sprung into action!

We were some of the first people there, I was told that there would be BBQ and unfortunately no one there was actually punk enough to work a BBQ so me and Matt took the reigns.

Hipster kids can't BBQ. After a while I noticed that the only beverages in sight were ice cold beers, and me being the straight and alert punker that I am, decided to pillage the lemon tree for thirst quenchiness. I found a few good lemons, they were pretty deep in there, and some strawberries someone brought, and I also rummaged up some brown sugar from Avi's modest kitchen. I squeezed the lemons with my bare hands, and some kind soul brought me an emptied out patron tequilla bottle to mix my concoction in. Everyone seemed fascinated and probably a little disturbed as I squeezed the sticky lemons into the jug with my fists, Matt just giggled.

The lemonade turned out super good and everyone wanted some after a while. I raised a lot of eyebrows cause it had lots of huge chunks floating in it and probably looked more like embalming fluid than a beverage.

We saw lots of bands, ate veggie burgers and dogs, and walked to needles and pens zine boutique with Tessa. Then we ate at la Cumbra and returned to the FUTURE just in time for some weird ass jam band stuff. When we finally got home there was lots of relaxing and catching up on school work and finally sleep. Overall I give last weekend an A+.

Creepy crawlies

2010-06-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

broccoli flowers!?

ladybugs hanging out.

basking.

I couldn't figure out how to make this not sideways... my little flower and basil pots!

Congregation! I bought one of those tubs of ladybugs and released it in my garden a few nights ago, Ladybugs don't fly and night, so only let them go after dark so they will have time to settle and make homes before they fly away. I thought it was super strange how they all flocked to the stakes I have holding up my fence. I think they wanted a high point in the garden that wasn't a plant? I am not sure, either way I hope these ladies (and gentlemen) stick around.

Stamp happy!

2010-06-07T16:40:00.000-07:00

I made tons of stamps this weekend, it was an overall craft weekend for Matt & I. He sat on the floor designing a large spray paint stencil for his band The Atom Age and I sat on the couch carving to my hearts content. We also managed to make several hundred buttons!! I love that we can geek out and create things together.

Pictured above is a stamp I made for my band The Pillowfights out of a speedy cut block with a speedball linoleum cutter.

next I made this awesome space monkey stamp for the Atom Age, I liked it so much I made two. I didn't realize that they would be facing a different direction, I am still learning.

orange monkey, you can see the stamp in this one!

I made an awesome logo stamp for my friend Avi who runs Silver Sprocket BC. They put out records and books and shirts and toys and everything cool that I love. I think their logo is super rad and it turned out the best of all the stamps.

I had a few weird small scraps so I made some silly stamps, a heart that says love (i'm such a girl sometimes) and one that says "GIMME COOKIES" cause DUH I want some cookies.

Awesomer

2010-05-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

vegan donuts at psycho donuts! these are all frankentein experiment donuts! totally exciting! totally delicious!

chewy!

squash blossom! I have little zucchinis growing, i can't wait to eat them!

it's taking over...

Growing growing gone!

2010-05-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

I caught some caterpillars trying to eat my lettuce.

my tomatoes are blooming! see the one on the top? first blossom!

lively greens.

starting to get male flowers on my squash.

I painted a bunch of juice jugs to transplant my flower seeds into. Hopefully the colors are bright enough to help attract bees!

Sugar freedom!

2010-05-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

spinach and lettuce salad with tahini, olive oil, lemon & chive dressing minus the vinegar, and a carrot!

celery and almond butter. my friend.

green apple slices with raw almond butter. yum!

black bean chili sprinkled with a bit of daiya cheddar. I consider the cheese cheating a little but it was worth it.

No sugar diet: day one

2010-05-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

So it seems as though I am having some problems with the bacteria in my body. I took some antibiotics recently and as it turns out, antibiotics rid your body of ALL the bacteria and not just the good stuff! In the good bacterias absence the bad bacteria can basically take over. In an effort to restore the flora and fauna I have grown to love I am going sugar free for 2 weeks to try and starve my bacterial enemies!

If you actually know me, you probably already know that this will be really hard for me, I love sugar and I love carbs! Also being a vegan, my options have been limited to a small list of vegetables and nuts. I am not super excited and the sugar withdrawals are starting to kick in. Wish me luck, here goes!

my vegan sugar free bounty!

a light snack, raw celery and almond flaxseed butter!

dinner, an artichoke with grape seed expeller pressed veganaise.

Invasion from below!

2010-05-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

My garden is getting bigger everyday! Sometimes I look back at old pictures and scoff at how dinky it once was! Here are some pictures of the lovely stuff I have growing!

spinach, red leaf lettuce, and broccoli! I have almost depleted all the lettuce from making salads so often! I feel like I have been using a lot of spinach too but probably not as much as I think. Maybe it just grows really really fast? It seems huge to me!

More broccoli! this stuff is immense! I can't wait until it actually produces something edible!

My tomatoes and some basil I planted at the bottom a few days ago! These suckers are getting huge! I brought one to a friend and on the way out of my backyard I got a "I know what that is" comment from one of my super astute neighbors. I told him it was a tomato plant and he said "SUUUREE" and so I gave him a "Haven't you ever seen a weed plant before? they don't look like this" I mean some of them might, but I wanted him to feel like "duh of course i know what sticky purp looks like or something" I think I just wanted to look hard so he wouldn't try to break into my backyard and smoke my tomatoes.

My squash! The one by the wall is so much bigger! I am not sure why! Also I thought these would get taller and I feel bad cause the tomatoes are stealing all it's sunshine! I hope they survive! I want my squash!

Pole beans!! I really really didn't think these guys were going to make it, but with a little help they are doing just fine and starting to crawl on their own! I clipped off some dead leaves, and tied them up to the chicken wire with little slings. Two of them have little vines creeping out trying to grab onto stuff (I helped those along too!) "oh hey mr. vine, the fence is over here!" They are like little photosynthesizing Mr. Magoos.

Progress

2010-04-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row!

2010-04-27T14:40:00.001-07:00

I thought I would update you all on how my garden is coming along. It seems to be growing quite nicely and looks more like a garden than ever! I have (from bottom to top) Spinach, red leaf lettuce, broccoli, chives (hard to see) Roma Tomatoes, Squash, and pole beans up against the fence.I am hoping the beans will climb that chicken wire I put up for them! I also need to get cages for the tomatoes soon.

Basil I am growing indoors, I am using recycled containers, mostly old juice and water jugs I have cut up and painted! The roots don't like light so I didn't want to leave them clear, also painting is fun! I am going to start eating this stuff soon. It's totally ready! Sweet basil ice cream here I come!

Jalepenos are growing super duper slowly! I am okay with this cause I know they like super hot weather and it's just not getting really warm! I started these from seeds almost 2 months ago. Yeessh! I am keeping them dry and warm so they will have a hotter flavor when they produce fruit. (hopefully)

And finally, a salad I made for my lunch today! It's the first salad I have eaten that I have grown entirely myself! Sure it's just spinach and red leaf but my garden is growing and soon my salads will be glorious and plentiful! I am also going to start some heat resistant lettuce soon and some cucumbers! I just got the seeds last night! HOORAY!

Sunday morning breakfast

2010-04-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

Matt made me a special vegan biscuits and sausage gravy breakfast. He even shaped the biscuits like little hearts with my cookie cutter! He is wonderful.

Pictorial life update!

2010-04-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

Matt made me birthday waffles!

I turned 27!

Mander came home from tour! Selena came home from Rachel's!

I got big glasses!

I joined Devo!

No respect.

2010-04-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a nightmare that Rodney Dangerfield was outside my house with a shotgun trying to kill me. I was running through the house but he would always find me through a window and take a shot. I finally got smart and hid behind the chimney but he had some brunette looking through another window signaling him where to shoot. I don't know what I ever did to her! I also called the cops in my dream not because I was scared, but because I was annoyed and wanted to take a nap. When I woke up I realized that the best place to hide would have been in the bathtub. I totally could have napped there too.

You bring me carrots and celery.

2010-04-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Matt took me on a beautiful picnic hike on Sunday in the El Cerrito hills. We climbed to the top of a big hill and sat on rocks at the top where we could see everything. He made me yummy vegetable hummus sandwiches and brought chips, cookies, sourpatch kids and root beer. Plus he only made fun of me a little bit for being not very tolerant of hiking. He is the best boyfriend there ever was.

sangwichessss

a beautiful view of the east bay!

signed, sealed, delivered.

2010-04-01T16:29:00.000-07:00

My friend Ashley invited me over for a craft night last night, she showed me how to make an awesome carved stamp!! She made the russian doll and I made PIZZA!!! I mean, there was no other logical stamp for me to make, my brain is probably 3/4ths pizza by now. My frontal lobe is a tomato. Instead of a labotomy I would get... kabobbed?

Thanks Ashley for letting me use your supplies! I want to make tons more! Hopefully someone will buy me all the supplies I need for my birthday next week. hint hint.

Over and done with

2010-04-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

My grandfather has finally been "memorialized" an entire month and a half later. It was a short and sweet ceremony, almost everyone said something, and there were maybe about 25 people in attendance. I enlarged a picture of me and him and my niece Jenelle on the swingset in the back yard. My Aunt Pat loved it so much I let her take it home. Afterwards we went to the house and ate and talked. Soon it came time to have a family meeting and discuss the business of who gets what. We're coming back in a few weeks to take whatever we want and estate sale the rest. Once all of that is taken care of we're throwing everything else out and cleaning the house and trying to sell it. It's probably going to be demolished, which makes me sad since I spent the majority of my life there. The house changes more and more every time I am there, the phone number was even changed because they couldn't afford the bill. That made me sad because I have known that number my whole life. I guess it's okay to have the wonderful memories live on even if the house can't. Letting go is the hardest part.

SOY!

2010-03-18T14:17:00.001-07:00

Riot grrrl pizza party!!

2010-03-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

I am working on a little snippet for my friends zine! but here it is now for you guys since the zine is not widely available! I might change it up a little but I wanted to post it before I forgot!

riot grrrl pizza party!!

One of the things that always bothered me about pizza is how often it is regarded as JUNK FOOD! I mean c'mon!! Pizza is super good for you if you do it right! The only thing that's unhealthy about it is the mountains of cheese "fat America" puts all over it! Let's work together to make pizza a shining beacon of health! Hell let's make it a food group (the way I consume it, it could be!) Why do you think people in Italy live so damn long? It's the pizza!!!

Let's start with the crust! Pizza dough is made out of basically:

flour - that's wheat, it's a grain! grains are fucking healthy!

olive oil- which is super good for your skin! (you pretty pretty thing you!) it's also an antioxidant and good for digestion and keeping your cholesterol in check! (that might help you balance out the mountain of cheese but you should probably do some sit ups just in case!)

Yeast - IT'S ALIVE!!

Sugar - Only a little bit to activate the yeast, If yeast was a zombie, sugar would be it's BRAINS!!!

salt - just a pinch! Sodium is good for you in small doses and needs to be replenished after you sweat a lot or exercise! It helps your cells maintain their fluid levels and one of the symptoms of sodium deficiency is flatulence aka FARTS! So if you have a hot date make sure to eat some pita chips before or something! NO BEAN DIP!

Well then, crust isn't so scary is it? Maybe next time you won't leave its discarded corpse lying on your plate to be tossed in a landfill! Pizza has feelings too! (okay it really doesn't but I am an eccentric weirdo that personalizes food) On to the Toppings!

Tomato Sauce/Tomatoes: Tomatoes are a fruit! They are a member of the deadly nightshade family and were thought to be extremely poisonous up until about 1820! Tomatoes contain large amounts of vitamin C and also have a good amount of Vitamin A, Potassium, and Iron! Tomatoes also contain loads and loads of Lycopene which is an antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals in your body! Harvard researchers have discovered that men who eat 10 servings of tomatoes a week (AKA 10 slices of pizza) can cut the risk of developing prostate cancer by up to 45%!! Italian science nerds also discovered that eating 7 or more servings of raw tomatoes a week can lower the risk or developing rectal, colon, or stomach cancers by 60%!! AND nerd dudes in Israel discovered that lycopene is a powerful inhibitor of lung, breast and endometrial (that's your uterus wall) cancers!

Onions have fiber are a rich source of healthy sulfur compounds! They have cardiovascular benefits too, like reducing your blood pressure and cholestorol levels! Onions also contain Chromium which helps your body respond to insulin and keeps your blood sugar in check!

Garlic cleanses your blood and has a lot of antibiotic qualities! It is considered by some to be a cure all and might even help with your acne! it's anti- bacterial and has 1% the potency of penicillin but unlike antibiotics, most bacteria can't develop a resistance to garlic! One clove a day will keep you healthy, two cloves a day can ward off colds! Garlic is magic and gives you awesome breath!

Mushrooms are an excellent source of potassium, and a rich source of selenium which is an antioxidant that works with vitamin E to protect cells from the damaging effects of free radicals! Those darn free radicals are always trying to ruin my day!

There are also tons more, less conventional but still good for you toppings! So figure out your favorite combo and roll with it! So if I haven't convinced you to get in the kitchen and start kneading by now I don't know what will! Hopefully at least I got your mouth all watery and maybe that will motivate you to at least reach for the phone and call the delivery guy! But trust me, homemade always tastes better! Thanks for reading my angry pizza rant! And please please PLEASE stop using the "J word" when referring to my beloved pizza food!

listening to bikini kill...

2010-03-03T19:00:00.001-08:00

...makes me want to wear pretty dresses and smash shit.

I've got to admit it's getting better.

2010-03-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

It's getting better all the time.

I feel more positive, more productive and overall better. I can't say that I wasn't those things before, but I feel them even stronger now. I feel like I can do anything and that's really cool.

Pole beans day 8!

2010-03-01T12:10:00.000-08:00

Vegan brunch!

2010-03-01T12:07:00.000-08:00

My friends had a big vegan brunch at their house yesterday. It was two bucks a plate to help cover the cost of ingredients, and tons of friends came from all over that I hadn't seen in a while. It was warm and sunny out, and everyone had a lovely time, OH and the food was delicious! My favorite part were the whole wheat waffles, with earth balance and agave they were just what my tummy wanted. There was also potatoes and tofu scramble and lentils! YUM!

I had a really great time, I always love when we can have a positive group of people just enjoying each others company. Also the weather was so nice that it felt like spring for the first time. I almost wore shorts but then thought better of it and decided to just not wear a second layer under my pants, baby steps.

We rode our bikes home and found awesome junk on the side of the road that one of our neighbors had abandoned. Mander got a ridiculous cow poster that is now in our kitchen. (two of the cows are rainbow colored) Also since I finally got a hammer and nails to complete my garden bed (pic below!) we decided to finally hang up tons of shelves and frames and mirrors that we had neglected to do anything with before. It was quite a productive day! Afterwards we went to the fancy outdoor mall and made fun of people and looked for boots Rachel wanted (they didn't have them) and then we went to the goodwill and I scored some brand new goulashes for only 10 bucks! The rain has been pretty abundant and nothing gets me crankier than wet feet!

Saturday morning Tessa picked me up bright and early and took me to the hardware store to get supplies, I didn't think I would be able to complete it in time with the rain storm that was coming. (and never came) I got home and went right to work on building my garden bed! I want to have it ready so that once my little window sill crops are ready I can move them outside without having to worry about Selena dumping on them or walking on them! She is a good dog but not the smartest dog so setting up boundaries for her makes it extra clear that that spot is MY territory.

After I finished my project I got cleaned up, ate some food and then Tessa came back and we hung out for a while with some friends and then picked up Mander to go to a loud noisy punk show at Gilman. We also got pizza at Lanesplitters before the show, which is always a treat!

Overall I consider the weekend a success!

Scrabble

2010-02-28T02:19:00.000-08:00

...is just a little bit sillier with you.

Broccoli! Day 5!

2010-02-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

i feel like this a lot.

2010-02-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

!!!!!

2010-02-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

in case you couldn't see them in the last one! haha I get too excited and send lots of my friends mass texts like this. I am a huge dork.

Tomatoes! Day 11!

2010-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:00

Four tomato seeds have sprouted! They are roma tomatoes and I am slightly intimidated cause the package says they grow to 9 ft tall, apparently they are really viney and that is just like an uncurled length, still terrifying. What if the tomatoes decide they don't want to be food and try to eat me? They could constrict me in their vines! Is there a horror movie called "eat your vegetables (before they eat you!)" because if not I think I am writing it. I try to to talk to my plants but I make sure not to mention that I will be eating them, I don't want them to get scared and stop growing.

Friendship pizza

2010-02-23T18:10:00.000-08:00

Me and Tessa went to the farmers market sunday and bought veggies, I only bought pizza toppings on purpose. I took a picture of our pretty pizzas.

Please grow!

2010-02-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

I planted more veggies Sunday at the seed share! Jalapenos, Chives, Cucumbers, Squash, Pole Beans and lots more!

Lettuce day 9, its all curly cause i turned it the night before, it was so leaned over from growing toward the sun!

My basil finally sprouted, its really small but the middle on the right side and the top left have sprouted! WOO!

Faithfully.

2010-02-23T17:38:00.000-08:00

Long distance love is the pits! I haven't been kissed in two weeks! Maybe I am just a complete baby but missing people is the worst, maybe I should just be grateful I have someone to miss! Luckily the last show of his tour got moved to a few days earlier, and they needed a show that night anyway so he will be back about 2 days early! HOORAY! This gives me less time to do all the weird projects I have been starting since he left, hopefully his return isn't too distracting to keep me from well, keepin' on.

In the immortal words of Journey, "lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be." It also makes me smile to think that when he reads this he will shake his head and think I am a total loser for liking Journey. He's totally right! What's a girl to do?

Day 7!!

2010-02-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

Two of my basil plants sprouted too but they're way two small to take pictures of!

Day 6!

2010-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

Green thumb!

2010-02-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

Red Lettuce Day 5

I started some vegetable seeds in my windowsill and watching them grow is so exciting! I had a garden as a child one summer with my grandparents but I have never grown anything on my own, well maybe a chia pet. Also this one time I put an old potato in some dirt and watered it and it actually grew into a big plant. I never actually harvested it or checked to see if it had grown me any new potatoes, but it was fun to water it and watch it grow.

I have come to the conclusion that I am MUCH too poor to NOT grow my own food, it just seems like it will be well worth the effort, which is minimal, to have fresh veggies around to eat all the time! The lettuce (pictured) is the only one that has actually sprouted so far. I also planted basil and Roma tomatoes! I plan to keep the basil as a house plant possibly and transplant the lettuce and tomatoes outside when they are ready.

I still have to plan out where I am going to put my garden and figure out if I want to build a raised garden or just try to work with the soil thats already there. I don't think my compost will be ready soon enough to plant in it. Bummer! I am also toying with the idea of building a DIY green house to keep the dog and other weird pests out of there. Anyway this is all new and exciting and if anyone has any tips I would be glad to take them. I am nervous about screwing this up! I'm sure I will feel a little better once my other seeds sprout, it is only day 5 after all. Wish me luck!

Red Lettuce Day 4

Mairzy Doats

2010-02-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

My Grandpa finally made it to heaven for his eternal date with Grandma. He was a little late for valentines day but I'm sure she understood. Finally being back in the arms of your lover after almost 4 years has got to beat out chocolate and flowers any day.

I didn't think he would last as long as he did. He was 89 years old. He wanted to leave us the day grandma died, his world was pretty miserable without her. Then the Alzheimers took over and he forgot how to be miserable and started checking the mail 15 times a day. I thought it was funny, and it pissed the hell out of mom.

Thank you for helping to raise me, and for not dropping me as a baby, and for always loving me in your own way. You taught me a lot about life and you were always there when I needed you. Thanks for letting me steal all your cardigans in high school, and for playing me records and 8 track tapes. You taught me how to grow food, and compost, and play horseshoes. Thank you for all the trips to Half moon bay and other places my parents never had time to take me. You enriched my childhood in so many ways, I was super lucky to have grandparents as wonderful as you two. I'm grateful I have so many fond memories of you, I am sorry it took me til adulthood to start showing you more affection. I always loved you, and I always will, I hope you know that.

27 days

2010-02-10T23:12:00.001-08:00

This morning I woke up too early and I couldn't fall back to sleep, I just held onto him and wished today wasn't going to be such a difficult day.

We stayed in bed for a while, showered, finished the laundry and then headed out for some last minute necessities. I was counting down the minutes until I had to let him go away in the van. I am excited and jealous and I would do the same thing if I could, but for the time being the thought of not being able to hold him for 27 days is crippling and sad.

I know everythings going to be okay and I'm just being dramatic. Everythings perfect, I've just never been away from someone this long, heck my average relationship doesn't last 27 days! I know we're going to make it, as long as he doesn't get eaten by gators or rednecks.

Time to get some sleep and when I wake up it will only be 26 days.

"Piiiizzzzaahhh". Sharpie on pizza box.

2010-01-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

So Yesterday when I was drawing him, he was drawing me too! Unknown to each other! How weird is that!?? I don't think either of us draw regularly. We're awesome and stupid.

craft kick! karate chop!

2010-01-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling ultra super crafty lately, a lot of it is me finally wanting to put to use all of the crap I have and make it into other things. I broke out my sewing machine the other night to alter an old sweatshirt and sew a cool Max Levine Ensemble back patch on that I bought at the show last week. I also took in the sleeves so it would fit me better.

The night after that I took in two shirts that have been sitting around waiting for me to alter them since the summer, they fit now!! Last night I started sewing together old tee shirt squares I cut out almost a year ago to make another tee shirt quilt. I didn't get very far cause it was late and I had to work today. When I get home tonight I plan to continue my quilting project and also get to work on some coconut pineapple ice cream and cinnamon buns for this weekend. Mostly prep work so they will be ready to go but I might churn the ice cream tonight so its nice and solid when its recipient arrives.

I feel like all I do anymore is eat pizza and ice cream.

I'm sorry for how badly I disfigured your arm.

2010-01-27T19:15:00.000-08:00

FOOD RAGE?

2010-01-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

So lately everything in my life has been wonderful and amazing. I could not be happier, well maybe if my ridiculous debt was paid off but other than that I feel pretty good. I feel that in my enamored blissful state the only thing that seems to get me worked up anymore is food. You gotta find something to be unsatisfied with right?

Last weekend my wonderful boyfriend took me out to this awesome pizza place he has been raving about since we started dating. He was going to be his treat and these pizza's are quite expensive so I was feeling pretty pampered. We are about to order and we inquire (just to be sure) that the pizza was vegan, and the waitress informed us the pan would be coated in butter, being the bad vegan that I am I decided to just "eat around" the parts touching the butter, I didn't want to waste the trip or seem ungrateful. Then ANOTHER waitress comes up and tells me there is whey in the dough. I try to justify just eating toppings but apparently they are all baked in under the dough, and everything is all gooey and it would be impossible to keep it kosher.

I felt so silly in the restaurant when I started crying cause the only thing I could eat there was salad! I was hungry, and disappointed, and in a state of food rage. I feel embarrassed that a ruined meal can get the best of me but luckily my wonderful boyfriend walked me down the street to a lovely little indian food place that was really delicious.

I feel crazy sometimes, but then I talked to my bff Tessa last night and she was like "of course you got upset! you were hungry and you couldn't eat anything! I would have been pissed too!" so that made me feel a lot better.

I feel like such a brat sometimes.

I know I'm unclutterable, you don't have to tell me. I have too much in my life, take it, it's yours.

2010-01-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

This year I think I need to FINALLY get my shit together and unclutter my life. I have so much stuff, and I mean yeah most of it is totally cool stuff, but I live in a very small room in a teeny bungalow and I really would love a little more room to stretch out. I think the problems with this I have had in the past have all involved me believing all my cool junk has value, or some sort of purpose other than just being junk. The other reason I keep things is purely sentimental.

For example I have this really gross smelling raspberry body splash and bath set my grandmother gave me that I will never use. It was in a "get rid of" pile for about 4 months and before I could get rid of the pile she passed away causing any item ever given to me by her no matter how gross smelling to somehow become priceless and cherished. (I also have a bag of random socks she gave me that I can no longer wear for fear of destroying them because my grandma will never buy me socks again, and that is the saddest idea ever)

I completely realize that I am a crazy, sentimental fool, but I honestly don't know how else to be. I am going to figure it out though, I have to, this shit is getting ridiculous. I also realize that because I am in a considerable amount of debt, the chances of me buying more stuff to compensate for the discarded junk is very unlikely. This is the best possible time for me to clean house. Wish me luck.

2010 please be my friend

2009-12-31T21:13:00.000-08:00

1. Seriously get my debt under control.

2. Write a whole song by myself, not just lyrics and melodies, guitar
stuff too.

3. Do stretches, become more flexible.

4. Be closer with my family, even though most of them drive me crazy.

5. Eat better, like make sure I get essential nutrients and junk.

6. Memorize that REM song "it's the end of the world"

7. Get rid of more stuff.

These are my resolutions! Let's hope I keep them!

beans, no beans, please, thank you.

2009-12-30T12:35:00.000-08:00

I had a very happy holiday, it's been a long time since I have felt this positive about everything. Matt saved me from being alone and depressed and as the holiday season is about to come to an end I am looking back on it with a sense of "that wasn't so bad." I'm totally all stupid and in love.

Highlights of the season include:
Ice skating in the rain! Downtown San Jose has an outdoor ice rink every year built amongst a circle of palm trees. It's really cool because the trees are like in parts of the ice rink and you skate around them. It rained all day so there was a huge puddle on the ice. I fell as soon as he stopped holding my hand. The screaming and laughing made the cold wet butt a lot more bearable. Of course we saw another guy with a bucket and he bought me another rose. Red this time. We went and looked at all the christmas trees and animatronic scary elves in the park before taking the bus home and making root beer floats and abuelita.

Post thanksgiving pot luck! A bunch of our friends came over for a potluck, which eventually turned into a drunken dance party. Most of my friends were with family and I knew less than half of the people there. Only a few cups got broken. Matt and I fell asleep to the sound of REALLY loud R&B songs and a living room full of people screaming every couple of minutes. I still can't believe we didn't get a noise complaint, the door was even wide open. Matt made this amazing hummus.

Christmas eve lunch! Tessa and I exchanged gifts early christmas eve. I almost mutilated her large present trying to ride my bike with it, luckily the box it was in was very unimportant! After opening presents we went with Vito to get lunch and he decided to buy us all lunch because he wanted to go to the fancier, more expensive vegan restaurant. It ruled. When I left to get on the bus this crazy lady wearing all pink decided to talk to me for a really long time about her neck pain.

Christmas eve! I show up at Matt's and open the door. He comes sprinting across the living room covered in flour and sweaty and LEAPS over the couch to yell "NO!" in my face and slam the door. It was the most adorable thing ever. He was wrapping my present and baking cookies. I know I shouldn't encourage his procrastination but it often makes for very cute situations.

Chili and LOST! Matt made me chili, and we have been watching lost, his chili is so good, LOST is so good. Holy shit. I never want to leave the couch ever.

Tonight I am going to see him and stay until the new year! Yes! I will also be using the new ice cream maker he bought me, DOUBLE YES! I am so stoked to make delicious ice cream of my very own. I haven't been this happy in a long time!

the dreaded holidays.

2009-11-15T16:31:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, only about 2 more weeks until the lonliest most awkward holiday of the year for me! This year it actually falls on my grandmothers birthday, who's death changed the face of thanksgiving as a whole.

I know thanksgiving is a day to give thanks, and like appreciate stuff and be with people you love, but all the people I love have family obligations and can't hang out, and all of my family is whacked out or way too far away for me to even get to. It's a completely frustrating holiday and I fear I will end up alone in my kitchen cooking a gigantic feast for just me.

I will probably end up spending the day with my best friend and her family possibly, but that's all the way in Antioch and I don't know how i will get home in time to prepare for the potluck at my house the next day! Which makes me want to stay home so I don't get stuck somewhere far away, I dunno, the holidays stress me out! Don't even get me started about the awful $300 bullshit parking ticket i have to pay in December in order to register my car! MY CAR WHICH DOESN'T EVEN WORK!! SINCE JUNE!!!

I'm going to go watch "its thanksgiving charlie brown" and cry.

Tampa-ing

2009-11-02T19:44:00.001-08:00

2009-10-30T10:19:00.001-07:00

cloud brains

2009-10-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

I had another date last night with my secretive fellow. I went to visit him in the east bay (two hour train rides might make me lose my mind) and we listened to music and talked and he made me dinner and breakfast! It was all pretty wonderful. He says I make him nervous and that he was messing up things but I didn't notice.

I did notice how when I went home I managed to get on the wrong bus, which dropped me off short of my destination so I had to hop on the light rail and take two trains to get back to where my bike was. Then I had trouble finding the bike rack from the light rail station cause it was really complicated to get across the tracks. When I got home the doggy had peed on the floor so I had to clean that up before I left for work. When I got to work I dropped my tea cup in front of the water cooler, and then I managed to spill hot water on my desk. I am a complete mess today. Probably because I'm too busy daydreaming about rad pop punk dudes to function properly. This rules.

Man of Secrets

2009-10-14T12:49:00.001-07:00

I met my secret admirer, and boy is he dreamy. We went out on a date friday and he stayed to hang out Saturday too, and then he wanted to take the last possible bus home and we missed it so I got to keep him all weekend. I forgot how much I like having a man around. Hopefully this one can stay a while.

I feel like I have been on a cloud all week, its totally rad. I am not sure how to handle all the compliments just yet. He bought me a rose from one of those street vendor "i'm selling flowers out of this bucket" guys in front of a bunch of my friends, it was totally embarassing (and adorable) but I guess I just need to get used to people treating me well.

2009-10-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed that the last boy I loved along with a mutual friend of ours was in town for a wedding, for some reason his mother had made him wear this terrible dress to the wedding, it was white and lacy. We were walking around town near my house and he was wearing the dress, and a pearl bracelet, but the bracelet was cheap and falling apart. We went to a cake shop (it was more like a big glass refrigerator)and we got this lovely piece of cake with light brown frosting, maybe it was coffee flavored I dunno the other guy picked it out. It was only a slice so I took a few bites and then handed it to my friend while I went into 7-11 to buy domo toys. The boy in the dress was super excited by that too. Also i kissed him, but it was a stolen kiss because he is the most awkward boy on the planet. I decided not to kiss him again in the dream.

I think my dream is trying to tell me something, like, you're not in love with this dude anymore, his mom makes him wear dresses, you want a grown ass man that doesn't wear dresses and cheap bracelets. Also you want to eat cake all the fucking time. Yeah that must be it. Thanks dream.

who are you?

2009-10-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

elephant juice

2009-10-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

I think I found out who my secret admirer is, I also think that my new found information on his possible identity might have scared him away! Crap! He's a babe too! Double Crap! I am the worst at dudes, forever and ever. I should accept my fate and get some cats, pronto.

you bring me carrots and celery...

2009-10-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

The weather is getting colder, and then hot again for a day, and then way colder. The nights are consistently chilly so I guess that's something to count on. I think cold nights make me want to have a nice dude around to snuggle with, actually that's a lie cause I always want that. I just don't want any of the complicated confusing mess that comes along with it. Blerg!

We played a show last night like two blocks from my old house. It was super fun and we sounded horrible but only because our guitarist Mark was too drunk to stand up! We haven't practiced in a long time either so all of these forces combined made for a terrible, yet hilarious set. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. This drunk kid was super hyped and kept getting in my face and singing all the wrong words, it was pretty awesome. Mark got naked before we even played, I just kept freaking out and waiting for people I trusted to tell me it was safe to turn around again. Thankfully he was mostly covered by a guitar so I didn't get completely eyeball raped.

Today I am back at work feeling kinda weird, my chest hurts on the inside I don't know why, it feels weird whenever I move certain ways. Its in the middle under my sternum? (Is that what that thing is called?)I'm sure some good food and sleep will cure all that ails me, but I dislike discomfort. I have been staying up too late all week talking to that secret dude. I love puzzles, and hopelessness, and attention, and feeling like my life is a fairy tale.

2009-10-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

I moved into my new place on Saturday, apparently I have gotten so good at moving that the entire move with a truck and a kia sportage took only about 4 hours! I was amazed, but with this being my fourth move in two years its about damn time. Mandi is awesome and super easy to live with, she marveled at my skillful and speedy unpacking abilities. I also have fallen deeply in love with her puppy Selena. She is such a good dog, an angel puppy. Pictured above she is confused and scared of the bread maker, this was right after she ran away from it she came in for a closer look.

We have a small but beautiful bungalow house, with a storage space and lovely hardwood floors. Our neighbors are nice, but a little crazy, they all have dogs that are much less loved than Selena and kept outdoors all day and all night. Selena stays inside when we're not home, shes so spoiled. (or not neglected) I am going to plant a lasagna garden in the back yard, it looks super easy and I can't wait till spring when I can start planting veggies!

I got my plane tickets to Gainesville, FL yesterday to attend the fest once again. I have done this the past two years and had a blast both times. I am really excited about this year. Its my chance to run away and have way too much fun all weekend one last time before winter. I am looking forward to seeing lots of old friends and making new ones too. October is my favorite month.

Yesterday a random person contacted me via AIM to tell me they were my secret admirer. I think its quite silly but I am also flattered and in a bit of disbelief. I mean I know I'm awesome, but I am always caught off guard when other people think so. Especially mysterious secretive people who claim to have never met me and give me very few clues to their identity. I guess that's part of the fun? I would love to solve the puzzle but somehow I feel like playing along and feeling this out will be much more fun. I guess the anonymity would make it a little easier to express feelings. I appreciate appreciation, and secretive people who want to make me feel special.

Dinner's for suckers

2009-09-24T13:52:00.001-07:00

I haphazardly made fallafel balls last night and my rad roommate Becca
came up with some quick ideas of delicious things to accompany them.
She plans meals, I do not! She also arranged the veggies neatly on the
plate in a way that made me want to photograph them! I'm moving again
this weekend and I'm going to miss having a rad vegan roommate! She is
so Eco friendly too and reuses everything! I've been inspired!

Yesterday

2009-09-21T17:26:00.000-07:00

I came home from a grueling weekend in the wilderness. I hiked for 5 hours, half of that was through a river. I didn't want to move the rest of the day. I barely slept because of all the moaning and love making that was going on in the other tents. Being single sucks. I was awakened at seven AM by screaming children. YES!

When I got "home" to my "haunted" room at Becca's house the kitty cat tailpipe was asleep on my bed. It warmed my heart and made me feel accepted and loved by my new feline roommate. Too bad I am moving out this weekend and will no longer be living with her. Fortunately I will be bunking with Mandi and her pit mix Selena, I haven't lived with a doggie in super long so I am way excited.

I came home with the sniffles, I was cranky the whole car ride home cause I was dirty, sore and we were listening to modest mouse and radiohead. I wanted to punch something and then fall asleep. I am not so good at mainstream indie rock. ESPECIALLY so early in the morning! How do people listen to that stuff without falling asleep? Seriously! In her defense she is in college and otherwise great people.

When I got home from work I made some cous cous and i screwed it up and it burnt to the bottom of the pot, I am a dummy sometimes. i spent the rest of the night trying to air out the kitchen and clean the burnt junk off Becca's sauce pan. I blame the virgin suicides for being such a great movie and making me want to watch it instead of watch my food.

Today I am in a weird mood and just want to be hugged by cute boys. I guess I want that all the time though.

ghost stories.

2009-09-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have never really considered myself a nomadic person. Most of my life was spent in the same place, I have never lived more than 10 miles from where I was born. 21 years were spent in the same house. Now I am finding that despite my best efforts, I have been forced into this roaming wanderer life style.

In two years I will have moved four times, five if we only stay the length of the lease. That being said I have WAAAYY too much stuff to be this mobile and have decided that a serious cleanse is in order. I am a pack rat, I always have been and fear this moving thing may be the death of me.

I am currently living with a coworker temporarily, who was kind enough to open her house to me. She let me move in all of my stuff only so I can move it out again in a couple weeks. She lives in a big house really close to my work all by herself. I have shoved most of my crap into the master bedroom, allegedly the room with the most "supernatural activity". I have never really been sensitive to that sort of thing but I do love ghost stories and the idea of living in the "haunted room" makes my short stay mucho exciting.

Last night was my first night there, in the haunted room. As soon as I tucked myself in and put my phone on the charger I heard a strange thud. Okay it was just the power strip settling into place since I had pulled the cord a little to set my alarm. I went to sleep slightly spooked and puzzled by the cold air when the room had been baking hours before. It was either ghost hugs or shotty insulation.

In the middle of the night I was awakened by a much larger thud followed by lots of small fast thuds. This one scared me for a good two minutes as I laid there freaked out in the giant bed. (My bed which I smooshed next to the twin bed that was already in there to form the dreaded bed behemoth. The little bed is mostly occupied by the kitty cat named Tailpipe.) After the noise kept happening I realized that it was most likely a Turkey, yes, a turkey on the roof.

The neighbor has about ten enormous turkeys that my roommate hates. She warned me about them jumping on the roof and being scary and loud. I saw them out the bathroom window this morning as I was getting ready for work. They are right next to my bedroom, and apparently love the roof. Once I figured out the turkeys were merely trotting on the roof I felt a little less anxious and slept soundly, except for all the times the turkeys woke me up.

The pillowfort that I am currently moving out of is mostly vacant, and big and sad lately. Everything has to be out by Wednesday and I am sad to see my dream house go. I had the best, and worst two months of my life there. I had 3 shows in the basement, I had annoyed neighbors, I had suicidal roommates, I had bottles of piss on the porch. Sometimes you love a place so much it destroys you. 997 Delmas Avenue only made us stronger.

Run. On.

2009-09-06T16:08:00.001-07:00

This morning I was riding my bike to work and this big dog in a car
that was parked barked at me right as I got next to it and I screamed
and swerved into the street and my friend who left shortly after me
swerved her car to keep from hitting me and the group of girls across
the street laughed.

I am a positive person

2009-08-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

I am high functioning. I have the biggest dumbest heart ever. I love a little too much. I am a worrier. I can be obsessive. I get stressed out. I take care of people. I have never ever ever wanted to die.

I don't understand what makes anyone want to die, especially when they live in a nice house, and have awesome friends who love them and are totally supportive of them. Friends who are willing to do anything to keep you afloat, to make sure you're okay. Friends who feed you and stay up all night trying to convince you that you can get through this, its only a hurdle, a speed bump.

I called 911 for the first time in my life today. He was in a seizure and non responsive, and when he did look up at me his eyes went all googly. He didn't respond to his name, and he couldn't move. I accidentally put my arm in his sick, but that didn't bother me at all because I was too worried to worry. Sunday he tried to leave us, he almost did it. Today he told me he would get help. Today I found him almost dead. How many more times does this have to happen before he is okay? Can this be the last time?

boys...

2009-07-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

How do I make them kiss me?

2009-06-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

I am a killer of cars.

I drive them, and drive them, into the ground. so far into it. I am unmerciful. I am unrelenting. I am currently a "bike to work" kind of girl.

I borrowed the "company car" to move some stuff from my old house to my new house over the past few days, it is an old subaru wagon and really helped me get shit done. I was happy to have anything with a backseat as opposed to pack mule-ing items in my messenger bag on my bike. The worst time was when I decided to bring the ingredients to make cake with me:
5 lb bag flour,
5lb bag of sugar,
tub of shortening,
brand new big bottle of canola oil,
powdered sugar,
nearly full bottle of apple cider vinegar.

I got the approximately 20lb bag on my back and as it tightened on my chest and made things hard to breathe I simply repeated to myself "its only a mile, its only a mile" the entire way home.

Anyway the subaru did its duty, it got all of my crap over to the pillowfort in only 3 loads. This morning as I tried to leave for work the engine merely clicked at me. I tried to jump start it even though I was positive it was the starter, and I was right. There is now a dead subaru stuck in my driveway, hopefully it will be gone sometime tomorrow.

Everything is really overwhelming today, I can't wait to get off work, go to the bike store to buy a new lock and a light, and then bike downtown to see third eye blind for free at the park with lots of my friends. I am not moving anything tonight but might head over after the show to grab my ice skates and some pillowcases that are still at the house. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing behind the toilet last night so the old house is probably the last place I want to be tonight. I am so relieved to be finally done (almost) the remainder of my stuff there can almost definately fit into one garbage bag.

Tomorrow my band is playing an acoustic instore at hot topic, its a little strange but whatever its a show. We haven't sold out I promise.

c'mon get happy.

2009-06-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have been slightly busy as of late, over the last 2 days I have moved almost everything I own from my old house (the motham) to my new house (the pillowfort) exactly .99 miles down the street. I have taken a lot of stuff by bike since I do not have a car currently as I wait anxiously for the warranty company to agree to fix my transmission. All the big stuff was moved by the brothers Lindow and my friend Mark, thanks guys!! All that remains in my old haunt is some kitchen appliances, food in the cupboards, and a tornado of random items and garbage awaiting sifting and packing.

I really love my new spot, it is .99 miles closer to work and cuts out one unnecessary hill I would have to ride up on my daily commute. Also it is in a nicer neighborhood with less mice and cockroaches! YES!!! The pillowfort also has a basement where my band can practice and where we can have shows once we test the waters and make sure the neighbors don't whine too much! It has a three car garage which won't house any cars, and an oven from the future!! My room is upstairs!! UPSTAIRS!!! I know this doesn't impress most of you but I have never lived in a house with stairs... so its really freaking exciting for me. Also, I already really fucking hate stairs.

The ceiling in my room is slanted on both sides because its the roof, I am one of the 2 people in the house that can actually stand up in that room without hitting my head so I feel like i've earned it. I do however hit my head on the slanted parts of the ceiling when I am digging through a clothes pile (my dresser won't fit) or playing records. I am getting used to slanty roof and seem to mind my noggin even when unnecessary. The best part is I have a great excuse to get handsome dudes to lay down in my bed with me. So where are all the handsome dudes?

Since my car is so lame and broken I have been riding my bike every day for the past 2 weeks to and from work. 10 miles a day, a little bit more from moving, and soon to be 1.98 miles less!! Yessss!! I love riding my bike but all of this "i have to" crap is getting on my nerves, I would really like to visit gilman or the east bay again someday. I am totally annoyed that I can't get out there, stupid BART. I mean technically I could ride my bike to the bus station and take a bus to Fremont and then the BART to Berkeley and then take a really long walk but since I can't bring my bike on BART it would take waaaayyyy tooo long and I don't feel good about locking my bike up in sketchy ass fremont. I do however thoroughly enjoy the amount of gas money I am saving.

Also my friends have been super duper awesome and supportive as of late, I am pretty positive I have the best friends I could ever ask for.

future oven!!

hot males lay down here.

midget door/ record nook

happy place.

Danny has anxiety.

2009-06-02T17:28:00.000-07:00

I got to the show a little late, I rode my bike so I stashed it in the back and then began watching the first band. He walks up to me and motions for me to go outside with him. Of course I do, how could I deny his powers of handsome? He wanted to talk to me because we never get to talk cause he only sees me at shows, we talk about jobs, and houses, and how the first time is always the best time, "like sex" he says... and I guess I sorta froze up because I have never been good at talking about such things... I was mostly just shocked that this man whom I have re-fallen in love with every time he smiles at me since I met him in high school was talking to me so casually about sex. More than that I had recently come to believe that he was really Christian and wholesome and this just seemed to cancel all of that out. He also talked about chicken and he said I looked offended! I wasn't.

This was about two weeks ago. Everyday since I have planned to call him since he never gets to talk to me and everyday since I chicken out. I will tonight for sure. I ride my bike past his work on my way home from work, I always look for his car but I am never sure which one is actually his. I hope to someday ride in that car and maybe he will smile at me like he usually does and drop me off at home. Sometimes all I want is a handsome man to drive me around and kiss me. That will probably never happen.

In three weeks I head to the east coast for some shows in NYC and New Jersey, and Insubordination fest in Baltimore. I am really really excited to see all the bands. I am also kind of nervous. In three weeks I get to hang out with the last boy who broke my heart. Believe me the list is long but since this was the most recent it still feels fresh. I thought I had buried all these feelings away but the closer it gets the more anxious I feel. Uck. I know I will be okay and it will be fun and I will be fine but its hard to keep my emotions at bay. I think if i resist any urges to kiss him or cry I will be good, if I had any idea what he felt maybe I wouldn't be so bugged out but I'm not expecting any miracles. I probably shouldn't be allowed to talk to dudes anymore, I am kind of a mess.

I made it for you.

2009-05-31T02:11:00.000-07:00

I still miss you, not as much as I used to but it's still there. I wish we could go back to the way things were but I know you're not the same.

I want to be in your life
I want to be in your life
Please let me back in.

garage sale saturday, I need to pay my hearts outstanding bills.

2009-05-25T12:21:00.001-07:00

I am slowly downsizing my life. I have always kept everything, because it reminded me of someone or something and made me feel good, and now I realize maybe I don't need quite so many things to remind me of the people I love and one thing for each person will suffice. My best friend Tessa was over on Saturday and watched me go through boxes for several hours. She basked in my childhood memories and said that one of the things she loved most about me was that she could come here and listen to my memories, since she doesn't have quite as much memory evoking stuff.

Everyone has memories, but my little trinkets and doodads hold special pinpointed memories that I am slightly afraid to lose, but I know I don't want to haul all of this stuff around for the rest of my life. Since I don't have a place where I can really store any of this junk it will just be slowly chipped away at as my memory fades and I grow more and more weary of my cluttered existence.

My friend Angela went to one of those quater machines and put in quarters until she collected ALL of the homies for me.

I got all of these in happy meals in the 80's. Mac Tonight is also what I believed the boogeyman to look like. He lived in my grandfathers tool shed. I still think he is terrifying.

That being said the reason for the all of a sudden downsizing is I am moving, well that and the 6 boxes in the kitchen I never quite unpacked from when we moved in a year ago. We are upgrading to a large 4 bedroom house with 6 really awesome people crammed into it. It has a basement and an attic and although none of us have seen the inside of the house I am confident it will be fantastic as well. I drove by it yesterday and it gigantic! I am so excited to live in a house of such grandeur!! Also my friend mandie will be living with us and she has a dog which I am totally excited to live with. I can't wait!

mama life has just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away.

2009-05-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to visit the parental unit for obligatory mothers day festivities. I have been incredibly broke the past couple of weeks so instead of buying flowers I made my mom a lovely card with construction paper, markers, and oil pastels. I haven't seen mom since christmas, she lives 10 minutes away. I admit that I am a terrible daughter, but it seems the "treat people how you want to be treated" credo doesn't work on mom, so I go into the defensive "treat people how they treat you" stance with her and offer up mostly distance and unreliability.

When I got to my grandparents house (host) I saw a blonde woman (parasite) standing in the driveway. I did not know her, or care to so I promptly went inside to which she told me "you might want to go through the back, the guy is working on the door" I didn't know what she meant until I went inside, found it vacant and tried to go into the back yard, but some guy was working on the back door. Oh that guy. She went into the back to tell my mom some crazy broad in a honda went into the house. (me) When I finally got into the backyard mom introduced me to the woman (my cousin Donovans aunt Chris) and her son. They have been staying there for the past couple of weeks because they got kicked out of their house or something. At first I was weary but upon talking to Chris more she just seemed batshit crazy and good company for my mom. Also she helps out with Grandpa.

Grandpa is getting worse. Hes got the Alzheimers PRETTY bad now. I mean I am used to him being confused about who I am but I don't know if he knew who I was at all this time. He smiled at me a few times but maybe only because he was scared of me. Haha. In the hour to an hour and a half I was there he checked the mail at least 15 times. He kept coming up to my mom and being upset that the mail wasn't here, that I had parked in front of the mailbox, and that the letters he put in the mail were now gone. He brought in the mail and then tried to put it back in the box several times. We kept trying to explain tomorrow is Sunday and the mail won't come and we shouldnt put the new mail out till Monday but he didn't get it. He also kept thinking he got the harmonica and cigarette lighter he was carrying around out of the mailbox. Mom had to keep explaining what they were how to use them. I was constantly amused by this. Mom was angry. Gramps has also got a giant weird mole on his temple now. Mom said she was taking him to get it checked, it was pretty gross looking.

There was also a tiny baby at the house, its Chris's grandaughter whom she had for the weekend. The baby was cute and my mom took great pride in knowing how to take care of it. She is really good with kids that did not grow in her own womb. This has always confused me, maybe she thinks that's enough?

After departing from my grandparents house (that no longer looks like the house I was raised in) I went to Gilman to see Ringers from boston play, along with nobunny, rock and roll adventure kids, street eaters and shotwell. I used $15 in rolled coin currency (pennies and nickels) to get gasoline so I could make it there and back. I am totally serious about my economic downfall. The show was a ton of fun and I am really glad I went.

When I got home I made a cool fleece monster cover thing for a mixtape I am making my friend Nick, he will be here on tour with the Dopamines friday and we planned several months ago to exchange mixes, and of course I procrastinated. The cover looks awesome though so hopefullly the b side can live up to it. When my roommates got home they noticed a box on the porch for me, it said "too Danny turdle" with a badly drawn turtle on it. Inside it was a turd (human I think) decorated with chocolate chips and batteries. It was really disgusting and went to the garbage immediately. I have a number of immature friends and no enemies I can think of so I don't think the "turdle" was meant to be malicious. Also whoever made it then had to get close enough to it to stick chocolate chips in it so I am okay with a quick peek and then carrying it to the trash. It was slightly humorous in a "I can't believe one of my friends is this insane" sort of way. I still kind of gag a little when I think about it. Uggghh why are people so strange?

2009-04-27T02:13:00.000-07:00

The weather lately has been beautiful, always sunny and beautiful outside but the temperature has been a little crazy. Hot for a few days, and then just when I caved and wore shorts it got cold again. Thanks weather, way to be a pal. The dramatic temperature change also made my allergies go a little nuts. All of this beautiful weather makes me wish I didn't work 40 hours a week.

I am super stressed about booking shows, its tour season so I am getting way more hits than usual. The recession is hitting hard and turnout to shows are getting worse and worse, and I can't make enough to appease the bands and the club. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of summer when my lease is up and me and my bandmates can get a big ol' house with a big ol' basement for little teeny house shows. I honestly can't wait, we're all into it, its going to be perfect if we can only find a place.

Okay its way too late and I need to sleep. Thanks for listening.

a new name for everything.

2009-04-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am a little bit smarter than I have always been. I feel like maybe I am making better decisions, about who I want to spend time with, what I want to do with my life, what I should spend money on and most importantly feelings.

I always tend to let my feelings get the best of me, I am constantly following my heart rather than my brain. At times that can be admirable but I think sometimes its just plain dumb. This week I made a shocking "hey dummy this dude is never going to give you the attention you deserve" discovery and decided I just need to drop it. (like its hot?) Its really difficult for me to reason with myself at times because all I really ever want is lots of hugs and kisses and some handsome man to sweep me off my feet. In a romantic stupid way, not in a karate kid "sweep the leg johnny" kind of way if you catch my drift. I know this notion is totally unrealistic and all I will ever really have is me, but a girl can dream can't she?

BOO! YOU WHORE!

2009-04-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have feelings, and you never act on those feelings cause you don't want things to get "weird" or mess up "friendships" and then you blurt out all your feelings like word vomit to your long standing crush (lets say 4 years, not constant but in an "everytime I see you" kinda way) when you find out he has a new girlfriend.

Play it off, its totally cool, everythings always cool. I mean, just kidding. Duh.

Today felt extremely long. I was at work, having what felt like a text message argument all day with a more recent crush. I think I need to just give up on crushes all together. They are nothing but trouble, don't get me started on trouble.

Just when I thought I had been cured of my feelings by the last heart break here they are again. Stupid squatter stow away feelings won't leave me be. I want to be a robot in my next life, completely devoid of feelings. I can't cry because I will rust, that's the ticket!

Or maybe I am just sexually frustrated?

HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!

2009-04-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

I am not so good at frosting, but you get the gist. I like the one in the middle, he's a CYCLOPS!
(I totally did that on purpose!)

2 years is a very very long time...

2009-04-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

To be without a grandma. Its been exactly 2 years since I last saw her, I think about her and miss her everyday. I know that everyone dies someday, but I really wish we could have had more time.

I am luckier than most people, I had a grandma who loved me unconditionally, even when I dyed my hair funny colors and put holes in my face. She was always there, and always supportive of anything and everything I ever did. She raised me as her own, and taught me everything I needed to know. She was better than a parent, she was a saint.

She went to every school play, every choir preformance, sighed the softest, laughed the loudest. She cut the crust off my sandwiches, for years she would buy cordoroy pants at yard sales just because I had a pair. She was the sole provider of my socks and underwear for at least three quarters of my life thus far.

I don't think I will ever love someone or be loved as much as she loved me. She made me who I am, and I can never thank her enough. I am a better person because she was such a huge part of my life.

I always have dreams that she didn't die and that she's just around giving out sage advice and everythings good. I always feel like that's her checking in on me. I have never been religious or into any of that spiritual hoo hah, but for her sake I really really hope there is a heaven where she can eat menudo, listen to mariachi bands and watch her soaps all day.

I love you grandma.

SNOW

2009-04-02T18:38:00.001-07:00

tour 310, originally uploaded by prettymesss.

yeah I was there!! third time ever!!

Fremont Troll

2009-03-30T19:08:00.001-07:00

tour 186, originally uploaded by prettymesss.

Crazy cool. I picked its nose.

mighty o donuts

2009-03-30T19:05:00.001-07:00

tour 209, originally uploaded by prettymesss.

I want to eat you for the rest of my life.

I'm officially in love with the pacific northwest.

2009-03-27T09:31:00.001-07:00

I haven't been posting much as of late, this week I am on tour with my band, last week and the week before that I was mostly panicking about how we were going to manage/afford going on tour, honestly it is going so much better than I imagined!

Day 1: Sacramento, CA.
We drove about 2 hours north of home, got to R5 records where the show was and we were early so we hunted down some food. We ate at a vegetarian vietnamese restaurant called Andy Nguyen's. It was pretty god damn delicious but the service totally sucked. They took forever to get us our food and we were late to the show, sorry sacramento!!

We played with the Grid Rats and the Snot Cocks, they were both awesome and totally punk and made me feel less punk by default but my sassy new haircut is pretty punk and so is my silver sprocket jacket so I felt okay! They were super nice, kids beat the crap out of each other brutally with pillows, the pillow fight even broke out onto the streets of seattle. Those kids were nuts. It was a free show so we didn't really make any money and it was monday so there wasn't a ton of people there but it was a good start.

Immediately after the show we left to portland. It was a hellacious 11 hour drive and Leo drove the whole way! He is a powerhouse. We giggled about everything because we were so exhausted the entire time and that just makes things funnier. Things like "robert brownie junior" yeah I said it.

Day 2: Portland Oregon.
We arrived in portland at the home of Dave and Ryan death ray at 7am. They are amazing dudes and have an enormous couch! We probably only slept for about 3 hours and then got up to drink smoothies (thanks to Ryan and his amazing vita mixer) and check the internet!

Our album is currently streaming at punknews.org, probably not for much longer. http://www.punknews.org/article/32807 we giggled at all the comments about us being so ugly we must be from monster island and one kid said we were "54%" hardcore. There was also a comment about our brutal to brotherhood ratio being "off the fucking charts" which simply doesn't make sense to any of us so is now a constant source of amusement.

We met up with my long time friend Lesa for dinner, she treated us because she is a saint. We had amazing meatball subs at the bye and bye. I had a side of brussel sprouts FTW! After that we went to voodoo donuts (after saint cupcake failed and was all out of vegan donuts) where I got totally happy (you may think you have seen my happy, you probably haven't) I ate a donut called the "old dirty bastard" it was glorious. Lesa then took us to Burnside skate park where all the dudes in my band popped skateboard videogame boners, whatever that means.

The show was at the Mafia House, in a dingy small basement. It was totally fun and there were a bunch of people there. Danger death ray played first and were super good, They had no drummer so just did solo stuff. We played 2nd and the danger death dudes sang along and pillowfighted, Lesa took pictures http://www.flickr.com/photos/lesamonster/sets/72157615820591611/
The only suck part was that I had to use my own microphone which apparently isn't loud enough so they kept turning me up and if I moved in front of the speakers it would feed back a lot so I was confined to a small space. I like to move!!

Early times was amazing, Anchor down is still amazing, they are some of the nicest guys ever. I can't wait till May 15th when they play gilman! After the show I got to drive David's car, Ryan made us vegan pizza, we watched a hella old Elvis costello concert from Germany or something and I got my cuddle on with a cute portland boy!

Leaving portland was really hard because everyone was so awesome but we were way excited to move on to seattle! Before we left Ryan made us vegan pancakes, I had mine ala mode with chocolate ice cream, raspberries, blueberries and pecans. I am a little insane. We also went to food fight grocery and sweet pea bakery. I got some delicious coffee cake which I still haven't finished and a bunch of gelatin mix and ricemallow creme! Yum!!

Day 3: Seattle, Washington
The drive into seattle was kind of slow and traffic jammed. We got into seattle and arrived at my friend Chris Crusher's house. We sat on the couch, listened to records and got fed an amazing vegan meal (spaghetti and meatballs) by a bunch of meat eating non vegans! It was awesome! We all headed over to the funhouse and then walked around by the space needle and sci-fi museum until the show started.

The funhouse was awesome, they gave us whatever we wanted, it was a bar with a basketball hoop in the side yard! The ice giant hurt his ankle really bad playing Horse with the guys. Our set was really fun, senor pantalones rojos was the drunken master of pillowfights! It ruled!

Success! Was amazing, they did a billy bragg cover and my mind was blown! I had tons of fun!! They are awesome dudes and very very talented to boot! Dateless played their last show, it was really fun but also really sad!! They did a bang up job and Kevin played a few songs with them too. It was lots of fun and shennanigans ensued when the pillowfights started a pillowfight during their set.

After the show we went back to Crusher and Alli's house and laughed and talked and played modern english songs on strange instruments until the wee hours of the night.

Day 4: Seattle washington part 2
We slept in! Hooray!! We watched Trale Lewous videos on youtube!! We went to Araya's vegan indian food buffet! We battled the Fremont troll! Gas works park! We got Mighty O motherfucking donuts!!

We showed up at the GRN STRP house, vegan pizza was bought for us, a ton of people from the night before came through again to see us, it made us feel good. The house was awesome, just a fun punk house, I really wanted to mop the floor.

Is electric played first, they were so fun live and barely fit all 6 of them on stage!
Like Claws played second, this band is made up of a really nice guy named Zack and my insanely talented friend Jason Clackley. They were awesome and I kept fixing the mic stand for Zack and jokingly harassing him about breaking everything.

We played third and it went insanely well. Senor pantalones rojos brought his own pillows to the show!! Holy crap!! A lot of kids sang along to our songs which was totally unexpected and awesome, and even more sang along with our kelly clarkson cover. That's right I said it!

The damage done was amazing and totally sweet guys. They were the best band of the night and the living room of the GRN STRP house went nuts. They dedicated an Alkaline Trio cover to us! It was awesome!
After the show we talked and sat around as long as we could until everyone had to leave. We went back to crushers house, relaxed, talked about the pop punk, he put on the green man suit and scared the shit out of all of us and them helped the cat catch a fly. It was a very entertaining night.

We left this morning and are now en route to Boise Idaho. I am going to eat soooo many potatoes.

I'm on tour!!

2009-03-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

We're going to see a troll or something. I'm in seattle, more news later!! I'm having too much fun!

simple pleasures

2009-03-09T02:13:00.000-07:00

2009 so far has been a growing experience. Since moving out of my fathers house last spring I have quickly come to realize that paying rent totally fucking blows. I also have learned that I unfortunately do not make as much money as I thought I did when we first moved in.

For the first six months of being on my own I afforded myself so many of lifes simple pleasures. I have since maxed out my credit card and the pleasures are fewer, far between, and much simpler. In these situations one must budget, lucky for me I actually enjoy budgeting.

First I try to eat really cheap simple foods, I stop going to stores and shopping online. I will make every possible combination of food in the house until I am down to just staple foods, and then run out of those and have to shop. I have been baking more lately because I usually have the ingredients for that. Pancakes are also a sinch. In times of crisis I also ride my bike a lot, luckily daylight savings is now in effect and I will have a few more hours of daylight to get home. I also recently patched holes in some old jeans and ressurected them back into my wardrobe. I am upping the punx, I can totally get away with it.

In the opinion of TV FBI guy Special Agent Dale Cooper I should give myself a special treat every day. I will try to Dale but not all of us have that fancy government salary. Until I get my debt under control I am afraid the only treat I'm getting is a nap or maybe some rice.

me against the world

2009-03-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

It would be nice if I could depend on one aspect of my life to be stable, but I know I can't do that. Lately I feel like I am on a balance beam on a raft in the middle of the ocean. I can't fall off, but I guess if I do I can swim. Its just a matter of time before the sharks find me and I'm eaten alive.

I'm going on tour in two weeks, we don't really have any money, or a vehicle to tour in but somehow we are going to make it work. It seems crazy and I feel crazy but everyone wants to do it and It will be fun. (And most likely the most stressful week of our lives.) Regardless I think all of us are welcoming that stress.

Ever since I was a kid I have gotten these weird blood blisters for no reason, and only in certain places, the same places more often than not. When I was little it would be on the top of my foot. Now sometimes I get them on my legs, and when I'm stressed out I always get one on the top of my left wrist, everytime, never fails. Even when it goes away I can see the spot where it was, maybe my skin is too thin there. I dunno.

I feel like a robot lately. My emotions are all wackadoo. I put so much importance on very few things and very little to no importance on everything else. I realized last night that if I actually got what I wanted I probably wouldn't want it anymore.

bottomless pit of worry

2009-03-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have been tied up and sent to the bottom of a bottomless (that doesn't make sense) pit of horrible worries in my brain. My unshakable ability to worry has taken over almost all aspects of my life, its so wonderful.

This is what I wish was happening in my brain all the time.

sleeper hold

2009-02-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

I have been having a series of strange dreams lately. The past week my dreams have all been strangely love oriented. I don't know if that's supposed to mean anything other than I'm a hopeless romantic fool, but at least the dreams have been mildly entertaining for me.

Dream one: [WARNING: explicit content!]
I flew to Canada to be a bridesmaid in a wedding (of a woman I have only hung out with in real life once. She's not actually getting married to my knowledge but in the dream she was!) The dream was the first in the series and is becomming foggy but I remember being near a tree house, hanging out with some dogs and that my dress was white and this was a huge problem for me because I could not stop menstruating. (Sorry men) I know bridesmaid dresses aren't ever white, but I must have gotten lucky!

Dream two: I was in a big room in the back of a house that used to be down the street from where I grew up. It was the end of the culdesac. My friend was with me and we were on a pull out couch, I tried to get him to cuddle with me and though he did not resist his arms and legs seemed strange and uncomfortable. (so its probably better we're just friends!) EnterF crazy ex-gf. This particular friend has never told me about any of his ex's but everyone has a crazy ex so that's how it goes. She was jealous and apparently flew 2 hours to see him and then left and came back with an offerring of fruits and vegetables. Afterwards she again came back with more fruits trying to win over my family, I told them she was crazy and to make her leave but "keep those melons!" She then proceeded to set up some sort of fruit leather shop in my kitchen.

Dream 3: I flew to the east coast for some sort of reunion show of some sorts, It was like a cafeteria filled with metal folding chairs. I saw my most recent crush sitting in some seats a few rows up and did this superhuman leap over a few rows to sit next to him. I asked for a hug and he said I could give him a small kiss on the cheek. He then moved one seat away, and then back, and seemed anxious but I guess he's normally that way so I just thought it was cute.

Dream 4: Same dude as 3. This dream was much shorter, he was being sweet to me, and tickleing me and playfully biting my neck. Before I knew it he was gnawing on the back of my head. This was completely strange, totally out of character, and made me laugh a lot.

Fix my brain.

I made a prince with paper parts

2009-02-25T00:56:00.000-08:00

I've been a little stressed lately, partly because of my own choices, mostly from a bunch of uncontrollable unforseeable stupid crap. I have been feeling more self sufficient, but also kind of lonely. Everyone around me is also incredibly stressed out and its making for a lot of friction in my friendships. Its hard to look past what's bothering you sometimes and just get over it and have fun. Lately its just been easier to stay home.

I made my friend a birthday card out of paper and glue. It arrived at his house just in time! He was super appreciative and so stoked about it. He thanked me right away! It felt really nice to be appreciated for so little effort. It made me feel warm all over just to know it made his day a tiny bit better! It also makes me sad to remember that I am still waiting for a thank you or even an acknowledgement from a present I sent to a good friend back in december. Its weird how different people are, you would think the simplest of actions like saying thank you would come naturally to most people but they don't. Some people you have to wait months and months, you want to resent them for it but you can't cause you love them. You love everything about them. You love everyone, its just the kind of person you are.

Pleased to meet you, walk all over me.

I need a hero

2009-02-21T13:25:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I ran into my longest crush ever on my way out of the DMV. He was on his motorcycle and pulled up next to me as I was walking. Granted he has changed a bit since high school, he used to be a punk skater kid.

At first I thought he was going to run me over or he was trying to get in the driveway, he was in full motorcycle garb so I didn't recognize him. Then he said "hey" and my first instinct was "oh great this motorcycle creep is going to hit on me". He must have noticed my confusion because he said my name and I realized who it was. "I'd recognize those eyebrows anywhere" I said to him playfully.

I have seen him around pretty frequently the past few years, the first time I saw him after high school was in the grocery store, and it made my heart swell with happiness to know that the boy I longed for for 5 years had now 'put on a few' pounds and somehow karma was rewarding my unrequited love. I guess that's a little mean since he never did anything to me, I'm almost sure he had no idea of my crush. I mean in high school you have to be overly secretive about feelings because they're so embarrassing.

He has since 'lost a few' and I made sure to mention I noticed, he talked about his band and how he's buying a house with his lady and I'm glad everything is going well for him. We talked for about 10 minutes before he got going. Its strange how I would almost consider him a friend now when in my teenage days I could barely say two words to him.

I guess this just made me realize, maybe I expect too much, I'm never satisfied. I like to think that's a good thing but sometimes I'm not so sure. I have fallen in love so many times, you might say I'm a professional by now, but I have yet to find a guy who's good at loving me.

People who need people

2009-02-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

This morning I was frosting a cake I made last night for my friends birthday today. Upon completion of the cake I got a little sad when I realized no one was home to lick the beaters. I have always felt extremely independent, but I don't think I would ever want to live alone. Who would compliment my cooking, or the way the house smells when I'm baking? Who would lick the beaters?

st. valentines day massacre!!!!

2009-02-15T02:19:00.000-08:00

I actually had a great day. I slept in, made french toast, updated my food blog, watched many episodes of the simpsons, took a nap, chocolate milkshake, and danced my ass off with my BFF. Okay I realize "chocolate milkshake" isn't an action but we went to herbivore, which is usually spot on, but my mac and cheese was WAY too salty and the milkshake was the only part worth mentioning. Oh and it was chocolate, and a milkshake.

It took 30 minutes to find parking (I hate San Francisco) but the show was totally worth it! Shannon and the clams were great live, the guitarist was dressed as cupid (or should I say undressed?) he had a nice body but insane mutton chops, I am still not sure if I think he's attractive or not. On the bright side there were TONS of handsome guys at this show, unfortunately they all had boyfriends!! My friends tried to pressure me into talking to the sound guy (he played minor threat AND jawbreaker) but I am unfortunately incapable of eye contact with handsome dudes, especially handsome dudes who like good bands.

I wore a crazy dress and I got a lot of compliments and prom comments. It was fun, I felt pretty all night. I danced my butt off for dreamdate, one of the girls thanked me after and said I made her night better! It was very sweet. They played tons of new stuff and I am really excited for a new album.

Hunx were hilarious and insane as usual, some crazy ponytail guy got on stage with them and got naked and crazy, Seth said he messed up one of the songs so they played it again. Hahaha! The ponytail guy had previously been kicked out of the show for popping all the balloons, and somehow made his way back in to molest hunx. He also had a very unfortunate goatee. I really wish dudes would stop thinking goatees look good, at least they help me weed out the d-bags! Okay bed time! xoxoxo

I'm gonna dress you up in my love...

2009-02-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Come eat my love tacos!

I made you a valentine!

Valentine's day is never too much fun for single people, but I always try to make the best of things. I made these depressing valentines to hand out to all my single friends, so far they're a huge hit! I saw the taco sign as I was driving and actually pulled over to take a picture of it, it's so ridiculous. Tomorrow I am going to the Hemlock in SF to see one of my favorite bands Dreamdate play with Hunx & his punx & Shannon and the clams. My friend Tessa has volunteered to be my hot date. I bought a pink princess dress at the thrift store to wear, complete with toole! I will post pictures after I alter it, its a little too princess di right now, I am thinking I want it to be a little more Courtney Love. (Secretly I have had an urge to wear cute grungy riot grrl dresses since I read Grrrl) I hope everyone has an awesome valentines day, despite your marital status! Make the best of it!

I found a rad flyer!

pants rich, dirt broke, no hope

2009-02-12T23:47:00.000-08:00

Tonight I patched holes in 3 pairs of my pants, I was down to one pair of jeans that were so unfortunately purple. Don't get me wrong, I love purple, I love my purple jeans. The problem is nothing matches them!

I guess I haven't blogged in a while, sorry about that! I was sick and then I slept a bunch and I kept meaning to blog but I wanted to include pictures and then never had time at work and you know how it goes...

Things are looking grim lately, roommate lost his job and may have to move out. I am not sure if I will be able to find anyone to move in here or if things will work out or I'll have to relocate or what. I am mostly just a big ball of worry until I figure out what's going on. I wish I didn't have to depend on anyone else, but I honestly do. I can't make it on my own. I could try and find a better job but the chances of that are slim considering the crap hole economy.

I am starting to feel like I did at my dads house, he kept telling me not to worry but I felt like we were doomed. I also don't know how I'm going to ask my roommates for my $550 deposit if they make me bail out of the lease. I'm really not good at this assertive thing.

sick day

2009-02-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

I called in sick to work today because I partied way to hard this week and seem to have come down with an annoying party bug. It hinders my speech and breathing skills. I hate it.

Despite being trapped at home all day going stir crazy I had an okay day. Rich and Gabe came over and brought me comics, they watched the simpsons with me for a little while too. I ripped the tape I made of the show last night (just the off with their heads and thorns of life sets) and the new shorebirds LP I have been in love with for months and aching to transport! I am very happy and feel like at least my day wasn't totally wasted. I also watched all of Upright Citizens Brigade: season two.

I want to talk about how awesome and spectacular the show was last night but I will save that for tomorrow, so I can post the pictures to go with it! Oh yeah I totally neglected to re register my car and have to pay double because its so late! DOH! I am going to be totally broke forever and ever.