2010 please be my friend

1. Seriously get my debt under control.

2. Write a whole song by myself, not just lyrics and melodies, guitar
stuff too.

3. Do stretches, become more flexible.

4. Be closer with my family, even though most of them drive me crazy.

5. Eat better, like make sure I get essential nutrients and junk.

6. Memorize that REM song "it's the end of the world"

7. Get rid of more stuff.

These are my resolutions! Let's hope I keep them!

beans, no beans, please, thank you.

I had a very happy holiday, it's been a long time since I have felt this positive about everything. Matt saved me from being alone and depressed and as the holiday season is about to come to an end I am looking back on it with a sense of "that wasn't so bad." I'm totally all stupid and in love.

Highlights of the season include:
Ice skating in the rain! Downtown San Jose has an outdoor ice rink every year built amongst a circle of palm trees. It's really cool because the trees are like in parts of the ice rink and you skate around them. It rained all day so there was a huge puddle on the ice. I fell as soon as he stopped holding my hand. The screaming and laughing made the cold wet butt a lot more bearable. Of course we saw another guy with a bucket and he bought me another rose. Red this time. We went and looked at all the christmas trees and animatronic scary elves in the park before taking the bus home and making root beer floats and abuelita.

Post thanksgiving pot luck! A bunch of our friends came over for a potluck, which eventually turned into a drunken dance party. Most of my friends were with family and I knew less than half of the people there. Only a few cups got broken. Matt and I fell asleep to the sound of REALLY loud R&B songs and a living room full of people screaming every couple of minutes. I still can't believe we didn't get a noise complaint, the door was even wide open. Matt made this amazing hummus.

Christmas eve lunch! Tessa and I exchanged gifts early christmas eve. I almost mutilated her large present trying to ride my bike with it, luckily the box it was in was very unimportant! After opening presents we went with Vito to get lunch and he decided to buy us all lunch because he wanted to go to the fancier, more expensive vegan restaurant. It ruled. When I left to get on the bus this crazy lady wearing all pink decided to talk to me for a really long time about her neck pain.

Christmas eve! I show up at Matt's and open the door. He comes sprinting across the living room covered in flour and sweaty and LEAPS over the couch to yell "NO!" in my face and slam the door. It was the most adorable thing ever. He was wrapping my present and baking cookies. I know I shouldn't encourage his procrastination but it often makes for very cute situations.

Chili and LOST! Matt made me chili, and we have been watching lost, his chili is so good, LOST is so good. Holy shit. I never want to leave the couch ever.

Tonight I am going to see him and stay until the new year! Yes! I will also be using the new ice cream maker he bought me, DOUBLE YES! I am so stoked to make delicious ice cream of my very own. I haven't been this happy in a long time!

the dreaded holidays.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, only about 2 more weeks until the lonliest most awkward holiday of the year for me! This year it actually falls on my grandmothers birthday, who's death changed the face of thanksgiving as a whole.

I know thanksgiving is a day to give thanks, and like appreciate stuff and be with people you love, but all the people I love have family obligations and can't hang out, and all of my family is whacked out or way too far away for me to even get to. It's a completely frustrating holiday and I fear I will end up alone in my kitchen cooking a gigantic feast for just me.

I will probably end up spending the day with my best friend and her family possibly, but that's all the way in Antioch and I don't know how i will get home in time to prepare for the potluck at my house the next day! Which makes me want to stay home so I don't get stuck somewhere far away, I dunno, the holidays stress me out! Don't even get me started about the awful $300 bullshit parking ticket i have to pay in December in order to register my car! MY CAR WHICH DOESN'T EVEN WORK!! SINCE JUNE!!!

I'm going to go watch "its thanksgiving charlie brown" and cry.

Tampa-ing

cloud brains

I had another date last night with my secretive fellow. I went to visit him in the east bay (two hour train rides might make me lose my mind) and we listened to music and talked and he made me dinner and breakfast! It was all pretty wonderful. He says I make him nervous and that he was messing up things but I didn't notice.

I did notice how when I went home I managed to get on the wrong bus, which dropped me off short of my destination so I had to hop on the light rail and take two trains to get back to where my bike was. Then I had trouble finding the bike rack from the light rail station cause it was really complicated to get across the tracks. When I got home the doggy had peed on the floor so I had to clean that up before I left for work. When I got to work I dropped my tea cup in front of the water cooler, and then I managed to spill hot water on my desk. I am a complete mess today. Probably because I'm too busy daydreaming about rad pop punk dudes to function properly. This rules.

Man of Secrets

I met my secret admirer, and boy is he dreamy. We went out on a date friday and he stayed to hang out Saturday too, and then he wanted to take the last possible bus home and we missed it so I got to keep him all weekend. I forgot how much I like having a man around. Hopefully this one can stay a while.

I feel like I have been on a cloud all week, its totally rad. I am not sure how to handle all the compliments just yet. He bought me a rose from one of those street vendor "i'm selling flowers out of this bucket" guys in front of a bunch of my friends, it was totally embarassing (and adorable) but I guess I just need to get used to people treating me well.