The weather lately has been beautiful, always sunny and beautiful outside but the temperature has been a little crazy. Hot for a few days, and then just when I caved and wore shorts it got cold again. Thanks weather, way to be a pal. The dramatic temperature change also made my allergies go a little nuts. All of this beautiful weather makes me wish I didn't work 40 hours a week.
I am super stressed about booking shows, its tour season so I am getting way more hits than usual. The recession is hitting hard and turnout to shows are getting worse and worse, and I can't make enough to appease the bands and the club. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of summer when my lease is up and me and my bandmates can get a big ol' house with a big ol' basement for little teeny house shows. I honestly can't wait, we're all into it, its going to be perfect if we can only find a place.
Okay its way too late and I need to sleep. Thanks for listening.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
a new name for everything.
I feel like I am a little bit smarter than I have always been. I feel like maybe I am making better decisions, about who I want to spend time with, what I want to do with my life, what I should spend money on and most importantly feelings.
I always tend to let my feelings get the best of me, I am constantly following my heart rather than my brain. At times that can be admirable but I think sometimes its just plain dumb. This week I made a shocking "hey dummy this dude is never going to give you the attention you deserve" discovery and decided I just need to drop it. (like its hot?) Its really difficult for me to reason with myself at times because all I really ever want is lots of hugs and kisses and some handsome man to sweep me off my feet. In a romantic stupid way, not in a karate kid "sweep the leg johnny" kind of way if you catch my drift. I know this notion is totally unrealistic and all I will ever really have is me, but a girl can dream can't she?
I always tend to let my feelings get the best of me, I am constantly following my heart rather than my brain. At times that can be admirable but I think sometimes its just plain dumb. This week I made a shocking "hey dummy this dude is never going to give you the attention you deserve" discovery and decided I just need to drop it. (like its hot?) Its really difficult for me to reason with myself at times because all I really ever want is lots of hugs and kisses and some handsome man to sweep me off my feet. In a romantic stupid way, not in a karate kid "sweep the leg johnny" kind of way if you catch my drift. I know this notion is totally unrealistic and all I will ever really have is me, but a girl can dream can't she?
Monday, April 13, 2009
BOO! YOU WHORE!
Sometimes you have feelings, and you never act on those feelings cause you don't want things to get "weird" or mess up "friendships" and then you blurt out all your feelings like word vomit to your long standing crush (lets say 4 years, not constant but in an "everytime I see you" kinda way) when you find out he has a new girlfriend.
Play it off, its totally cool, everythings always cool. I mean, just kidding. Duh.
Today felt extremely long. I was at work, having what felt like a text message argument all day with a more recent crush. I think I need to just give up on crushes all together. They are nothing but trouble, don't get me started on trouble.
Just when I thought I had been cured of my feelings by the last heart break here they are again. Stupid squatter stow away feelings won't leave me be. I want to be a robot in my next life, completely devoid of feelings. I can't cry because I will rust, that's the ticket!
Or maybe I am just sexually frustrated?
Play it off, its totally cool, everythings always cool. I mean, just kidding. Duh.
Today felt extremely long. I was at work, having what felt like a text message argument all day with a more recent crush. I think I need to just give up on crushes all together. They are nothing but trouble, don't get me started on trouble.
Just when I thought I had been cured of my feelings by the last heart break here they are again. Stupid squatter stow away feelings won't leave me be. I want to be a robot in my next life, completely devoid of feelings. I can't cry because I will rust, that's the ticket!
Or maybe I am just sexually frustrated?
Sunday, April 12, 2009
HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!
I am not so good at frosting, but you get the gist. I like the one in the middle, he's a CYCLOPS!
(I totally did that on purpose!)
Friday, April 3, 2009
2 years is a very very long time...
To be without a grandma. Its been exactly 2 years since I last saw her, I think about her and miss her everyday. I know that everyone dies someday, but I really wish we could have had more time.
I am luckier than most people, I had a grandma who loved me unconditionally, even when I dyed my hair funny colors and put holes in my face. She was always there, and always supportive of anything and everything I ever did. She raised me as her own, and taught me everything I needed to know. She was better than a parent, she was a saint.
She went to every school play, every choir preformance, sighed the softest, laughed the loudest. She cut the crust off my sandwiches, for years she would buy cordoroy pants at yard sales just because I had a pair. She was the sole provider of my socks and underwear for at least three quarters of my life thus far.
I don't think I will ever love someone or be loved as much as she loved me. She made me who I am, and I can never thank her enough. I am a better person because she was such a huge part of my life.
I always have dreams that she didn't die and that she's just around giving out sage advice and everythings good. I always feel like that's her checking in on me. I have never been religious or into any of that spiritual hoo hah, but for her sake I really really hope there is a heaven where she can eat menudo, listen to mariachi bands and watch her soaps all day.
I love you grandma.
I am luckier than most people, I had a grandma who loved me unconditionally, even when I dyed my hair funny colors and put holes in my face. She was always there, and always supportive of anything and everything I ever did. She raised me as her own, and taught me everything I needed to know. She was better than a parent, she was a saint.
She went to every school play, every choir preformance, sighed the softest, laughed the loudest. She cut the crust off my sandwiches, for years she would buy cordoroy pants at yard sales just because I had a pair. She was the sole provider of my socks and underwear for at least three quarters of my life thus far.
I don't think I will ever love someone or be loved as much as she loved me. She made me who I am, and I can never thank her enough. I am a better person because she was such a huge part of my life.
I always have dreams that she didn't die and that she's just around giving out sage advice and everythings good. I always feel like that's her checking in on me. I have never been religious or into any of that spiritual hoo hah, but for her sake I really really hope there is a heaven where she can eat menudo, listen to mariachi bands and watch her soaps all day.
I love you grandma.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
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