Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I know I'm lazy, I know I'm stupid, I know you're okay, I know I blew it...

I decided that I need to stop worrying so much, actually I decided that a long time ago but haven't been sticking to it lately. I know that all I need is myself, a little confidence and the occasional chocolate bar to keep me sane. I know despite everything else in this fucked up world I will not quit, I refuse to.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want from my life and I'm really not sure anymore. I want to go away and just start over, but I feel obligated to stay in my job cause they kind of need me, I also finally have a band, I've always wanted to have a band. I just feel bored with everything lately. Oh well my lease isn't up until june anyways so I have a while to get over it or do something about it.

Speaking of band, I should have test presses for our 7" soon, that's right, production has started, I never thought it would actually happen. I am incredibly stoked. I can't wait to get those pretty little chunks of wax in the mail. I feel like I'm in a real band, yeah it still doesn't feel real.

Guys have been totally weird lately, I get attention from all of them except the one I want, and they're all mad at me it seems, over nothing. Its awesome. I hope this weekend is easier. I really just want to hang out and ignore the rest of the world, that probably won't happen but a girl can dream.

I'm leaving for new jersey thursday morning, I'm really excited and very very sad that I'm seeing the ergs for the last time. I know I'm going to cry, I always do.

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